


OVERWHELMED

by Sickpuppyinexile



Category: Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: A donut is not a ring, Alex is worried to be a bad boyfriend but Miles loves him, Alex wants to help preparing breakfast, M/M, milex is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-12-30 04:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12100845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sickpuppyinexile/pseuds/Sickpuppyinexile
Summary: Alex is finally back home after a long, exhausting tour and he feels like he doesn’t deserve Miles by his side but his boyfriend reassures him.





	OVERWHELMED

Alex woke up in a cold sweat. He didn’t remember what had scared him to the point of waking up with such a bad feeling but, for sure, it's been a nightmare, even if now he couldn’t remember any of it. He looked at Miles next to him, sleeping peacefully, and he felt immediately better but a second later, some kind of sadness hit him. Miles was lying on his stomach, his left hand under the pillow, his right arm around the same pillow, hugging it. Alex was used to wake up with his head resting on Miles’ chest and Miles’ arm wrapped around his body in a tight, safe and warm embrace but now Miles was hugging a pillow. Like the previous day. And the day before. Alex felt a shiver running down his spine at the idea that things may have changed in the past months but he knew that it was not Miles’ fault; actually, he was the only one to blame.

He had been away for almost nine months and Miles had simply found a more comfortable position to sleep while he was at home alone. Alex told himself that there was nothing to be worried about; Miles just needed to get used again to sleep lying on his back but Alex's mind couldn't accept such a simple explanation and Alex felt guilty for the whole situation. Every day they had spent separated, has had Miles getting used to sleep without him and Alex’s mind couldn’t help but getting lost in weird thoughts, maiking him think that maybe Miles had also become accustomed _to live_ without him.

The terrifying thoughts made Alex’s heart sank; he closed his eyes and took deep breaths to calm himself but it was pretty difficult to push the bad thoughts away and kept them away. He knew he could easily live without lots of things in life even if now he was used to a life of luxury, but, for sure, he could not live without Miles. His boyfriend was the only important thing in his life and now that he was back home again, he had to show him that he was the best boyfriend he could ever find, hoping that it wasn't already too late. 

During the years, Miles had loved him in the same way, with the same intensity, without any second thoughts. Miles never had a doubt about his feelings almost since they day they have met; Miles had always loved him unconditionally, no matter how bad or childish he had behaved with him sometimes at the beginning. Miles had always been there every time he had doubts or felt insecure about his work or about himself and he had been next to him the few times he had had a breakdown. When it had happened, Miles had literally stopped to do anything he was doing to reach him and take care of him.  
Miles’ love was pure, absolute, and unconditional; the man always did everything he could to make him feeling happy and loved and now he was asking himself if the man lying beside him was happy, if his sexy turtle felt loved because, in this moment, he was not sure he was doing a good job.

Alex opened his eyes and turned his face again to look at Miles sleeping next to him. He watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, listened to his slight snore and felt blessed that he was the only one who could look at him like that. It was a real delight to watch him sleeping; usually Miles’ face was animated because he was constantly laughing, frowning, grimacing, showing surprise but now it looked angelic and showed also a little smile. Alex sighed with relief looking at that little smile and he felt a weigh lifting off his chest as he shyly hoped that _he_ was the reason of that smile.

Alex relaxed a bit as he told himself once again that everything was okay; Miles looked really happy when they had met at the airport few days ago. Alex clearly remembered that Miles hadn’t stopped to hug and kiss him in the car on their way back home, with James complaining during the whole ride back for being forced to drive listening to their cheesy talks. Alex’s tiny smile became wider at the memory of that day and it was about to illuminate his face the same moment the smile on Miles’ lips disappeared. Miles’ features suddenly tensed; the man gripped at the pillow and Alex noticed he was murmuring something. - _Don’t leave. You can’t leave again_ \- and Alex’s mood changed immediately at the words, feeling overwhelmed by guilt again.

Alex closed his eyes in the attempt to block the tears ready to come out as he kept thinking about the past year. It had been a really hectic one and Miles had spent the whole time waiting for him. Waiting for him to come back from rehearsals, from interviews, from tour, from photo shootings and, unfortunately, also from his fake girlfriend. Alex knew that Miles had no problems accepting the first three things because, after all, he was a musician himself and he knew perfectly how things worked. He was also sure that Miles didn’t mind the fourth because he was a fashion victim and he was happy when they let him bring home the clothes used for the photo shooting, but, of course, Miles hated the latter. He knew that Miles hated it with his all heart and soul and sometimes he asked himself how the man always managed to be nice and smile when she was around and photographers took pictures, giving everybody the feeling that they were good friends. 

Even if Miles was a great actor, Alex had always noticed how Miles’ ever-present smile vanished from his face when they were at home and he accidentally stumbled into pictures of them on the web or when they were giving interviews and someone mentioned her. He knew it was a stupid idea; he knew he should have fought his manager about it but, unfortunately, there had been too many rumors about their close friendship during the Eycte tour and being into a fake relationships looked like the only way to keep their romantic relationship secret at least until the next puppets record 

- _But you don’t deserve this, Miles, and I want to change it as soon as possible. Before it’s too late. Before you can realize that you can find someone better_ \- Alex whispered, and few tears escaped his eyes as he approached Miles and hugged him tight. 

Miles woke as soon as Alex’s arms hugged him so he turned automatically on his back, taking Alex into his arms, bending his head to kiss the top of Alex' one while his hand was gently stroking his side.

“Sorry Al. I think I turned on my stomach during the night,” Miles said in a sleepy and apologetic tone, knowing how much Alex loved sleeping in his arms.

“You do not need to apologize Mi; indeed it’s my fault! I’ve spent too many months away from home and from you.” 

Miles was still half-asleep, his eyes were still closed but he didn’t need to look at Alex to understand that he was sad and that something was bothering him. 

“You were doing your job, Alex. Probably I should have reached you more often than I did,” Miles said, trying to comfort Alex and make him feel better. 

“Stop apologizing, Miles. You couldn’t come because of her,” Alex replied in an almost angry tone and Miles felt Alex stiffening in his arms because he knew that Alex was angry with himself. He still remembered the discussion that Alex had with his manager about bringing her with him during the whole tour and he knew that Alex was feeling guilty even now that he was finally at home and didn’t have to spend time with her. 

“It’s me the one who should constantly apologizing and never does it because is a selfish piece of shit,” Alex uttered, feeling a complete asshole.

Miles stopped caressing Alex and his hand moved toward his chin, lifting it up so he could look at him straight in the eyes.

“What the hell are you saying, Alexander?”

“I am saying that I am such a bad boyfriend, Mi” Alex replied and he put his head back on Miles’ chest, as he didn’t want to look at him. “How the hell did I keep you away from me? I know you’ve suffered a lot, Miles. I’ve noticed it every single day I looked into your eyes through that damn phone, even if you did your best to hide it from me.”

Miles was taken aback from Alex’s words; he thought he had been able to hide Alex the awful truth but it was clear now that he had failed. He had felt terribly alone in the past months; he had missed Alex so much that some days he didn’t see the point in getting up from bed just to wander around the house and feeling sad. He had often skipped lunch or dinner because he hated to cook without Alex around distracting him and going to restaurant alone was really depressing. He had gone out for dinner with a couple of friends sometimes and he had also attended few parties but it was hard to look happy and being the usual Miles, the one who was constantly entertaining people with funny stories and making them laugh hard with his jokes. Lately, every time he was out with friends, he ended up spending most of the time checking new messages from Alex and counting down the hours he could finally see him by FaceTime or Skype, barely interested of what was going on around him. 

“Alex, baby, the tour is over and I am okay. You are at home now and all I want is enjoying the next days, months and maybe years with you. I don’t want you to feel guilty and I don’t need you to apologize; I just want my complicated Aly fill my life again and drive me crazy as usual.”

Alex listened to Miles speaking the words with a sweet and soft tone of voice and he felt his eyes tearful again. Alex forced himself to hold back the tears from falling down from his eyes but he failed miserably as he murmured - _I don’t deserve you, Mi_.-

Miles didn’t catch Alex’s whisper because Alex’s voice was barely audible but he clearly felt Alex’s tears dropping on his bare chest.

“Alex? Why are you crying?”

Alex did not answer and tightened his grip on Miles. The younger man knew Alex so damn well to understand that he was an emotional, embarrassed wreck at the moment and, therefore, he didn’t insist. He simply hugged him even more tightly and kissed the top of his head, letting Alex alone with his emotions.

“You’re so tired babe, you just need to rest. The tour had been exhausting and your mind is raving a bit,” Miles said, his hands caressing Alex slowly in the attempt to soothe his emotional turmoil. “We are together now; I am here and I am gonna take care of you,” Miles added and even if Alex couldn’t see his face, he knew that there was a lovely smile on it.

A smiling Miles went on caressing and kissing Alex until his sobs calmed and he was not crying anymore. Miles let Alex alone with his thoughts for another couple of minutes and when he understood that the other was feeling better, he forced him to look at him again. “Do you know I love you, Alex, don’t you?”

Alex smiled and the wide smile reached his puffy brown eyes but when their eyes met, tears were rolling down his cheeks again.

“I didn’t want to make you cry again, babe!!! I thought my words would make you happy but maybe…” Miles said frowning, making fun of Alex as usual.

“Of course they made me happy! They are tears of joy,” Alex hurried to explain, laughing nervously and Miles kissed him, tasting his tears together with his lips.

“Now that everything is solved, try to rest a bit more. I’m going to prepare breakfast; I'll call you when it’s ready,” Miles said and his stomach rumbled as he moved into a sitting position and left the bed.

“I wanna help!” Alex exclaimed, instantly sitting up on the mattress.

“You know what happens when you help me preparing breakfast, Al…it always ends up that we do not have breakfast at all and I am rather hungry this morning,” Miles said chuckling.

“That’s because we’re never dressed properly for the task. If you are going to wear something more than a pair of tight boxer briefs, I think I can behave,” Alex said seriously and Miles looked at him outrageously annoyed.

“Seriously? Is it only my fault if we always end up in bed instead of sitting down at the table?”

“Of course it is and you know it very well. Fuck Miles, don’t you look at yourself in the mirror? And now that you have also such a six-pack, is hard to behave if you wear only boxer briefs, especially now after being separate for so many months.”

“Well yes, I am pretty hot,” Miles admitted in a serious tone and then, he let his slender fingers wander on his abs as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Stop it, Miles! Please!” Alex said laughing and reached Miles, hugging him from behind in the attempt to block his arms and make him stop flattering himself in front of the mirror. They both looked at their reflections and they couldn’t help but feeling happy to have each other and being able to hug and kiss each other again. Alex kissed Miles on his shoulder murmuring - _I love you_ \- and Miles turned to kiss him properly. The kiss was soft and gentle and their tongues chased each other in perfect harmony; they were smiling into the kiss and when they parted, Miles gently shoved Alex on the mattress.

Alex got obviously excited by the gesture and his eyes widened; he licked his lips in anticipation, ready for Miles to take off both their boxer briefs and move on top of him, but he soon realized that he had misunderstood his gesture at all.

“Stay there Alex. I'll call you in ten minutes when breakfast is ready.”

“I wanna help you, Miles, and you’re not going to stop me,” Alex said, his feet already on the floor. “No way I let you cook alone because now I am at home and I want to help you.”

“Okay then, let me wear something so you can manage to keep your hands off me,” Miles said as he wore a t-shirt and pants. “And please, promise me you’re gonna try not to be too much sexy as you wander around the kitchen shaking your gorgeous ass,” Miles added as he threw Alex a similar outfit to wear. As soon as Alex got dressed, Miles grabbed his loose t-shirt and pulled him close for a last kiss.

“Nothing else before breakfast is ready, okay?”

“I promise I try my best to behave. Anyway, Mi, starting tomorrow, I’m going to prepare breakfast for you every single morning so we won’t have the problem to cook dressed like if we’re ready to go out for jogging,” Alex said following Miles in the kitchen. 

“You’ve never prepared breakfast alone, Aly, and for sure, I didn’t fall in love with you because of your cooking skills,” Miles gave back, having fun being a little bitchy with Alex. Alex rolled his eyes upward at the words, knowing that Miles couldn't see him as he had his head in the fridge searching for eggs and other stuff. Anyway, Alex wasn't bothered by Miles' bossy behaviour because truth was that he had missed it a lot.

“Let me try tomorrow morning! I promise I won’t overcook the eggs,” Alex said hugging Miles who was now standing in front of the stove ready to cook. “I am gonna wake you up with a kiss and then we are gonna have breakfast in bed,” Alex explained enthusiastically in a low voice, before pressing his nose against Miles’ nape and inhaling his scent.

“We better concentrate on today’s breakfast and, honestly, you’re not giving a lot of help here; it’s rather the opposite,” Miles said as he opened the eggs, trying not to feel Alex’s breath on his neck and trying not to think at his soft lips ready to kiss it. Alex giggled and he couldn’t help but think how tempting Miles’ neck was; he just wanted to kiss it with his wet lips and then bite it right in the place that he knew it would make Miles shiver. Alex closed his eyes for a moment imagining the scene before doing it but, unfortunately, Miles didn’t let his fantasy happen.

“Honey, go and settle the table, please.”

Alex obeyed and, unwillingly, he left Miles’ body, searching for place mats, plates, glasses and cutlery, settling everything as a good boy helping his mom. He approached Miles at the stove again but this time he decided not to stay too much close; he leaned against the fridge, crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Miles cooking, letting a huge smile illuminating his face.

“I hope you don’t have anything planned for today, Miles. I am gonna take you out for lunch and in the afternoon, I wanna do some shopping and buy you a new suit. And when we are back home, we should check some expensive resort in Bali or wherever you wanna go and seclude ourselves in there for at least three weeks. Maybe we can leave tonight before dinner if we are lucky!” Alex said enthusiastically, waiting for Miles pulling him for a kiss for his amazing ideas. 

Miles turned his head to look at Alex properly and gave him a questioning look, trying to figure out what was going on without asking directly an explanation.

“I just wanna pamper you, honey,” Alex blurted out, looking at Miles with heart-shaped eyes and with a silly smile on his face.

“Wow, Alex; I think you should slow down a bit!” Miles replied almost with a frown, a bit confused by Alex's behaviour.

“Don’t... don't you like my plans for the day?” Alex asked in a low voice, feeling both worried and upset by the lack of Miles' enthusuiasm. The horrible thought that Miles was no longer used to spend a whole day with him popped up again and he began to panic.

“Don’t get me wrong, Alex, but I don’t need you to do any of these things for me. You’re finally at home next to me; that’s all I need,” Miles said, letting a a warm smile appear on his face and Alex could see in his eyes that the words spoken by his mouth had come out directly from his heart. Alex knew Miles enough to know that he meant every single words he had said and, finally, Alex shook away his bad thoughts about his boyfriend feeling bothered or trapped by the fact to have him around all day long. Alex felt his eyes tearful again but only because he knew he was a lucky bastard for being loved by Miles and this time, he managed not to cry. He tried his best to force his lips to curl up in a wide smile but, unfortunately, Miles hadn't find it very convincing.

“Alex, I am sorry,” Miles said noticing Alex’s tensed features. “I didn’t mean to hurt you with my words. It’s just… you still look so tired and there is no hurry to go out and doing stuff all day long. We are finally together and I don’t need anything else to be happy.”

Alex had really a hard time trying to fight the tears that wanted desperately to come out, and his heart almost melted for the way Miles was looking and talking to him. Miles was right; he still felt tired, he couldn’t sleep for more than three hours in a row, his mood changed from happiness to misery every two minutes and he was still walking in Alex Turner‘s shoes instead of in Alexander’s ones. 

“Alex?” Miles called and Alex snapped out of his world, noticing the concern on Miles’ face. - _Oh shit, I hope he’s not thinking that I am going to have a breakdown. Fuck, Alex, say something!_ -

Miles approached Alex and hugged him tight, placing a kiss on the top of his head before caressing his back, a bit worried about Alex being seriously stressed out.

“Listen Aly, if you really feel like going out it’s okay, lets’ do it! But we can take things slow. You don’t need to do anything special for me because I-”

“I need to do this, Mi! Alex exclaimed in a frustrated tone of voice interrupting Miles. “I want to appear good enough to your eyes for the moment I….” Alex stopped and left Miles’ embrace, turning around so his boyfriend couldn’t see him.

“For which moment?”

Alex cursed internally for the words that escaped his lips and immediately cursed himself for being an idiot and ruining everything.

“Alex?” Miles asked confused.

“Nothing.”

“It doesn’t seems _nothing_ to me,” Miles replied approaching Alex again. The older man felt Miles’ hand under his chin, lifting it up, forcing him to look at his brown puppy eyes that were suddenly a bit sad.

“You know you can tell me everything, Alex. Even if it’s something not pleasant at all.”

“There’s nothing you need to worry about, Mi.”

“Okay but I want you to finish what you were saying because it seemed pretty important from the tone of your voice.”

- _Congrats Alex, you have fucked up everything; this was not the way it had to happen. Fuck, you’re an idiot!_ \- Alex told himself, feeling terribly angry for putting himself into trouble with his own words. Miles looked pretty scared as the seconds passed by because Alex was standing in front of him silent, staring at his own feet, looking like he was having a very serious internal debate with himself. Miles felt his heart racing in his chest as he waited for Alex to speak and he hoped that it was nothing serious but just Alex’s complicated mind who was playing with his tired owner. Alex finally took a deep breath and looked ready to finish his sentence; he felt his own voice trembling a bit the moment he began to speak and met Miles’ puppy eyes staring at him rather worried. 

“I just want to be sure you’ll answer yes the moment I am gonna ask you… something,” Alex whispered, stammering a bit.

There was another moment of silence as the two men stared into each other’s eyes and then, Miles, decided to speak.

“Yes,” Miles says without hesitation. “Yes, I do,” he repeated with a big smile on his face, his eyes shining with happiness. Alex launched himself at him, covering his mouth with his, kissing him passionately as tears rolled down on his face once again.

“Are you sure you understood it correctly, Mi? Are you sure you wanna spend the rest of my life with such a complicated person like me?”

“I am sure.”

“Well … then…let me ask you in the right way. Miles Peter Kane, do you want to marry me?”

“Yes, I do” Miles answered, and immediately after, their lips crashed together again.

“I can't believe you were afraid I could have said no, idiot!” Miles said as soon as they parted. Alex apologized, wiping the tears away while smiling and Miles hurried to kiss his princess again. 

“Damn, Alex, I thought about asking it to you a lot of times but... I was not sure if you wanted to get married! I mean…fuck, Turner, you’ve never said a thing when all your bandmates got married; you never gave me a hint if you were husband material or not and I simply concluded that you were not!” Miles hurried to explain, still a bit incredulous about Alex's proposal.

“But I am. I am husband material for you.”

Miles’ smile was bigger than ever, making his whole face shining for happiness; Alex was happy to see Miles like that and couldn’t help but jumping on his waist and kissing him because he had never enough to kiss Miles. 

“When we’re watching movies and someone get marry, I always become sappy and sentimental and every time I dare to say something sweet, you stand up and go to the kitchen to pick another beer from the fridge. What I had to think about your stupid behaviour? It didn’t show me that you were interested to be a husband, you idiot!” Miles said almost scolding Alex for being such a wanker.

“I am sorry Miles, I don’t know why I behave like an idiot sometimes,” Alex said apologizing, and he jumped off Miles.

“I am happy you’re an idiot sometimes, otherwise you’d be perfect and there’s already a perfect man in this couple and we don’t need another one,” Miles underlined chuckling. 

“Yes, you’re right. You’re perfect, Mi,” Alex said as he lifted up his head to kiss Miles for the umpteenth time.

“Really? I am perfect? What else are you hiding, Alex?”

“Well let’s say that it’s a pity we haven’t donuts for breakfast. I didn’t buy yet a ring and a donut would be perfect to use as ring right now because I could have put it on your finger and-” 

“Fuck off, Turner! You are a multimillionaire rock star and I am high maintenance boyfriend. I am happy we do not have donuts because I would have not accepted it,” Miles replied, feigning to be annoyed, making Alex laugh for saying the words like a hysterical diva. 

“Even if it was a donuts filled with vanilla cream and covered in dark chocolate and sprinkles?”

“I have already told you to fuck off, Turner! Which part of it didn’t you understand?”

*

It took a full hour to make two coffees, squeeze three oranges, toast four slices of bread and cook five eggs because Alex and Miles could not stop looking longingly at each other. Every look turned quickly into a lovely smile, every smile turned automatically into a warm hug and every hug turned inevitably into a sweet kiss. Miles’ stomach was really complaining when they sat down at the table, finally ready to eat their damn breakfast.

“We should really find a solution to this breakfast problem,” Miles said. “We cannot take one hour for a 10 minute job,” he explained, pointing his finger to his rumbling stomach.

“The fact is that you’re too much sexy in general and super sexy when you’re cooking, Mi. I really can’t contain myself even with your clothes on,” Alex said with desire and lust showing up in his eyes and voice.

“Yes I know, and you’re so fucking beautiful, babe. I also get distracted too much easily when I have you around,” Miles said with an equal lust and desire. They locked eyes for a while but then, Miles' stomach broke the silence settled in the room and Miles snapped out of his trance. The man picked up some eggs and a piece of toast and stuffed them into his mouth; Alex looked at him as he chewed and swallowed the food, definitely not interested in what there was in his own plate. When their eyes met again, they stared at each other for few seconds and then, Miles dropped the fork he had in his hand. 

“I can’t believe we’re really going to get married,” Miles said, happy as if he was finally feeling fulfilled and had nothing more to ask for the rest of his life.

“It’s gonna be easier for you to believe that it’s going to happen as soon as I put a ring on that precious finger,” Alex said, feeling really impatiently to go out and buy a ring as soon as possible.

“I was joking about the ring, Alex. Honestly, I would have accepted also a plain donut from you,” Miles said giggling, before taking another forkful of eggs. Alex was still looking at him, the fork in his hand just touching the eggs but not picking them up.

“Why don’t you eat your breakfast, Aly?”

“Because I feel like we should not be sitting here eating breakfast, you know...we should _celebrate_ ”

A second later, they both sprang up from their chairs and met halfway. Their mouths were smiling, their eyes were shining and a second later, their lips were colliding. They shared a long, hungry and passionate kiss before they parted to catch some air and Miles, with a quick gesture, bent down a little and hooked Alex by the waist. He easily lifted his sexy monkey off his feet and tossed him on his left shoulder, bringing him to the bedroom.

Breakfast would wait; they would have a brunch as usual.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I apologize for any mistake ;-)) 
> 
> HBK! <3<3<3<3<3


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